Psychological-Ad1076

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Madison Howard

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Psychological-Ad1076

2025-03-02 18:22:30

Fixated on my mistake that endangered my son

No-Heron-6596

2024-06-20 01:03:49

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I think every parent has a moment where they mess up early on and can’t help but think about the “what if”s. Mine was literally our first night back from the hospital. I was so over tiered, was dealing with back pain from back labor, and trying to nurse in bed just to get a little comfort from the back pain. I ended up dozing off on my back with baby on my tummy and he rolled off of me, off the bed, and onto the floor. He cried when he fell but then went back to sleep and I was panicking that he had passed out or something. Took him to the ER right away. All was fine, he had apparently just gone back to sleep after rolling off of me. But I constantly worried, for months about what could have happened because of me and even what mistakes I might make next. Even walking down the hallway of our house, I would stress that I could hit his head against the wall. Mind you, before I had him, I had worked in child care for years, 3 of those years specifically with infants. I had a BA in human development specializing in early childhood, had done my practicum in an infant/toddler program, and worked with infants (for 2 of the 3 years I did, the first year is what inspired me to finish my degree) by the time I gave birth. Yet there I was thinking I was the worst and would mess up again and, worse yet, that I would not be so lucky next time. I know we are, generally speaking, hardwired to protect our kids, but I feel like my brain took it a little too personally. Postpartum depression/anxiety did not help at all.

1740946545
Yes, exactly this — keep worrying about what mistake I might make next. Trying to reassure myself that I usually am so careful, but it’s almost like I’ve lost trust in myself :(

1740958458
First of all, I just want to say—you’re not alone in this. You’re a loving, caring mom who made a mistake, realized it, and corrected it immediately. That’s what matters.

1740940007
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words and reassurance ❤️. I like the sticky note idea, I think I will also verbally say “safely buckled” out loud before shutting his car door once I’ve double-checked that he’s properly strapped in. I can’t believe I spaced something so important, so think it makes sense to have figurative safety nets in place, since I can’t confidently rely on fully keeping up with the mental load all the time.

1740940795
Will exchange this week. Sighs

1731267809
How’d it go?

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