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Madison Howard

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Available-Wrangler60

2025-02-07 14:00:26

AITAH for refusing to help my sister with her children, and telling her she chose her shitty life so now she has to deal with it

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Family law attorney here, and this doesn't pass the smell test. Either you don't understand family law in your state or are so blinded by your dislike of your sister that you don't care. I don't know what state they're in, but I'm not aware of any state where she can't initiate some form of legal action towards separating while they're living together, whether that be a form of divorce/separation and/or pursuing custody/support (even while still married). Most states also offer filing fee waivers for indigent filers. She may not be able to afford counsel to fully represent her, but she could pay an hourly rate to an attorney to meet for an hour or two to pick their brain and seek advice on self-representation. If she doesn't have cash, most lawyers accept credit cards.

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We live in North Carolina. You cannot file for legal separation while still living together. You cannot file for divorce unless you have been legally separated for a year. I’m glad you apparently know the law well in every state. Maybe they changed the law here and only told you about it? Regardless, maybe she could get child support if they went before a judge. But how she going to go to court with no car, and no money for an Uber? She doesn’t have a car, her husband only gives her enough money every week to barely cover their groceries. He doesn’t let her use his car outside of shopping and doctors appointments. And as for the paying an attorney for an hour consultation, with what money?

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A quick Google search tells me North Carolina has a "Divorce from Bed and Board" option which allows for a court-ordered separation to help initiate that 1-year separation period and that adultery (which you mentioned) is a qualifier. Google also tells me North Carolina allows a parent to file for custody and support even while married. You say you're a lawyer (or at least a J.D.) and you can't even put 5 minutes into basic research for her? Come on, do better.

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She doesn’t have any proof of his affair. He admitted to it in passing but there’s no texts or anything. I’m not sure if they would qualify for that. I don’t work in family or divorce law, so I’m by no means an expert. I just know that it would not be easy or realistic for a divorce. Also, I don’t think taking out a credit card to load debt onto is a smart choice. She won’t have any way to immediately pay it off or even make the minimum payments and will likely just end up tanking her credit. With ruined credit and a long waitlist for section 8 housing here, I don’t think she would be able to find somewhere to live. Just not looking like a great choice, overall.

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