Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

I'm tired of dreading over this feeling like I'm dying. It's better to genuinely die than to keep feeling like I'm dying slowly every day. I've become a burden always coming to my sibling or anyone to confide in.

I feel tired of knowing God, just watching me suffer this way. I'd rather have depression, anxiety attacks, dpdr, and psychosis than go another second of this. I'd rather feel afraid of being alive of my thoughts than dreading over death. I literally know what death is, and I'm afraid. I'd rather die now peacefully than be tormented for another second. I'm religious and in my flashing moments... it literally feels like I might slip away and just rot in hell forever, but unfortunately, this is hell, and I'm living it. I want this to stop.

God bless all of you suffering from this.