Any advice for living after

I lost my wife about 5 years ago now. We went to high school and college together. Married young 3 days after her 21st birthday. Was married for 9 going on 10 years. But I still considered myself married to her even now. Im turning 36 soon she would be 35 now, She was and still is my best friend and my better half. After grieving for some time, I tried to re-stated my life about 3 times now. Moved to places I didn't know anyone, moved close to family, etc.... Tried to make new friends, tried new hobbies. No matter how i much i succeed or how well i do, nothing seems to be worthwhile. Nowadays, I just work eat sleep repeat. I stopped finding joy in everything. Maybe that's not quite right maybe its more or less numb to everything. Every smile is forced, so others aren't worried or to just not bring down the mood in the room. I'm still trying to be social even tho it's kind of a pain now. I don't think much anymore. When i do have some quiet time or im alone, i think of her or the past life I had with her. It's bittersweet, ya know. I guess I'm just rambling on here. But after losing my wife, so much of who I was as a person has changed. All in all, I have never stopped grieving. I just got used to the pain. Is there any advice for one of the broken?