One year later and I still can’t get over about the fact that I hated my wedding

I (23F) got married two years ago and had our wedding reception last year. The year-long gap between the two was due to religious reasons. In Islam, dating isn’t allowed, so we got married a few months after meeting so we can “date”. We wanted to take our time to move in together and get to know each other better, so we waited until after the reception to move in together.

When it came to planning our wedding events, we initially wanted something small and intimate. However, our families had different ideas of what "small" meant. To save on costs, we opted for a larger reception and a smaller wedding ceremony. At the time, I was okay with this plan—I didn’t have the traditional "girly" wedding ceremony I’d always dreamed of, but I thought the bigger reception would make up for it.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. I wanted an outdoor wedding, but his family didn’t care about the ambiance; they just wanted to feed their friends and family, to celebrate. I didn’t want that at all. I had been planning my dream wedding for years, but due to miscommunication and the overwhelming stress, I stopped fighting for what I wanted and the wedding happened in a community Center and it looked tacky. The reason why we were having trouble with the venue was due to the guest list being too long. The venue I wanted could accommodate only half the number of guests. And there was no way the guest list could have been decreased. I thought I’d eventually get over it, but it’s been a year since the reception, and I’m still upset that my wedding was nothing like what I had imagined.

I don’t want to bring this up to my husband because it always leads to arguments, but I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s driving me crazy.

So, I’m asking for your advice—what can I do to move past this? "Renewing vows" isn’t an option in my culture, and I’m afraid my family would mock me for even suggesting it. I just want to find a way to let go of this disappointment and be at peace with how things turned out. Any suggestions?