Judge me if you want, i deserve it, no buts!

I do not know how I ended up like this. Never in my dreams that I could imagine myself with the situation I'm facing right now. I used to be a very responsible person, I always wanted to do things the right way. 'til one day, I found myself drowning from gambling. Yes, I gambled, which is a thing I never tried before! I started seeing people around me playing scatter, then I was encouraged to try. At first, I said, I'll just try. From hundreds, to thousand, to hundreds of thousands. Yes, I gambled all the money I had. I could not control myself, I was drowning with the hope to win and get even the half of what I lost. Now I am in debt, hundreds of thousands and I do not know what to do anymore. In desperation, I owe money from 10+ lending apps, besides from my friends. My business is just a start up, so I cannot lend money from banks. I am very problematic right now. Don't know what to do. I know, many of you will judge me, I can't help it. I deserve it.