Goodbye, much love & many thanks to this sub

I know, I know. This is the internet, not an airport, no need to announce your departure.

I’m only posting this because I feel the need to express my heartfelt thanks and soul-deep appreciation to the people in this sub. The support and condolences and solidarity and just all around love I have felt from the people in this sub have left me at times speechless and floored. This is the internet. A cesspool at the best of times and hell itself at other times. But not this sub lol the other TTC people in here have been so so SO supportive and so loving and I will not soon forget any of y’all.

So why am I leaving?

I’m giving up. My spouse and I have been trying to conceive for a year with no success. We went to a fertility clinic and found out that my husband’s stuff is not that great. Volume is bad, morphology is bad, motility is bad, etc. Our doctor even told us that our chances with IUI were not great so she suggested IVF. We had our financial consultation today.

It did not. Go. Well.

Basically it’s out of our price range. A pipe dream financially for us. Insurance won’t pull through and we can’t afford to take out a loan for the thousands of dollars that they’re asking for. And they want payment in full.

So that’s it.

As devastating as this all is I’m shocked that I’m not as broken hearted as I thought I’d be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty fucking rocked to my core but not as low as I thought I’d be. Silver linings I guess?

Anyway. Looks like children just aren’t going to be a part of my life story and I will have to start making my peace with that. The world doesn’t stop turning even if I feel like it should.

So. Yeah.

I’m throwing in the towel but before I do I just wanted to make this post and express my adoration and admiration to all the amazing people who have slid into my DMs or left comments to show support or to express love and condolences or even just to chat. Y’all have been a very welcome balm and a very welcome oasis while I’ve been on this turbulent journey and I just want y’all all to know that every single one of y’all are gems and even though we may never meet, I wish y’all nothing short of the absolute best and I hope y’all experience nothing but love and happiness.

Nothing but the best to every single one of you.

• Cate 💞