Should we be holding toddlers down when they tantrum?

My husband has this thing where if my son is throwing a tantrum, he’ll pin him on the ground or against his body until he stops.

Before I start know that my husband is not the aggressive type and very docile and calm. I say that because I want to give an accurate representation of what is happening. And get a non biased opinion.

Last night my son was screaming at the top of his lungs because he was upset at having to go to bed. He was moving his limbs and thrashing on the open floor, but not hurting anyone or himself. My husband moved into his territory and pinned him with his body against the floor.

Multiple times my son said “daddy let go!” “Let go!” “Let me go!!” Then he started calling my name “mommy help”. I could tell the pinning wasn’t helping and making it about ten times worse. So I just said “hey babe, maybe we should let him go” my husband did and my son came running to me for comfort, I rubbed his back, we took some deep breaths and he calmed down.

My husband just looked down and refused to talk to me. He seemed upset at me for stepping in. I asked him if he was ok. I told him I was just trying to help.

I said “he’s just a little kid and I could tell he was uncomfortable, it’s my duty to speak up for him and I’m trying to teach him consent to touch other people’s bodies and I can’t do that if we’re not giving him consent. He asked you to let go and since we are at home and not at a store or parking lot and it’s safe to do so I asked you to let go “.

He still just gave me the silent treatment. We haven’t talked about it since, but I plan to bring it up later in the day.

I’m willing to be wrong, but I don’t feel I am. I think my husband was trying to do the weighted blanket effect. Deep pressure to calm his body. But it wasn’t going there and it was escalating the situation. It was honestly a little traumatizing for me to watch. Because I imagined myself having a panic attack and someone holding me down. And I’m sorry, but no. Especially if I tell someone to get off and let go, they better let go.