Broke my sobriety streak last night

I was over a year sober and decided it would be a good idea to get hammered last night after work… ugh I hate myself and when I came home my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight since he could tell I was drinking. I just don’t want to be like this and I don’t know why I think alcohol will fix anything. Just wanted a place to vent… I feel unlovable and like a drunk asshole today. Restarting my tracker…. IWNDWYT