If we are a different person in every lifetime then who is the real us?

If we are constantly incarnating into new bodies with different traits and personalities than who is the real us? For example, if i was a smart, charismatic, and adventurous man in one life and then a mentally disabled, shy, and timid woman in the next then who am i really?? There seems to be no continuity. Even if I incarnate into a person with similar traits I'm still a different person. And from what Ive heard from NDEs you dont change back to your "original" self after an incarnation is completed. That would mean there's no real "you". Hopefully someone can give me a good answer to this because the thought of just being a completely different person in every lifetime just doesn't sit right with me and really makes me not want to reincarnate ever again.