I can never fit in

I think the last time I’ve ever fitted in was when I had a friend group with other dudes and that’s it and it was only bc we had the same taste in music but there was some arguments between them and we all stopped hanging out together.. sm has happened since I moved to another city the only friends I had were my online friends idk how they could handle me but I miss them even tho they were fucked up too. I’ve dealt with social anxiety and was unemployed for a very long period so I don’t really have social skills but even after I got a new job I always felt like I was used. The only two people that accepted me were two mothers and they even took me out to a bar but it was very awkward ngl. I returned to the job I quit for the good salary and I already knew some of the people there but I feel like I could never fit in the group.
They are nice to me but never include me in stuff like jokes or when they decide to order food. I feel like I make everything awkward and that people just feel bad for me. I’m not a bad person I’m always happy to help people I accept everyone but damn no one fucking likes me. I feel like a total freak bc everything about me is just different from others. My taste in music, where I came from, religion (I don’t believe in god) etc.. I just hate it here why can’t I find people who are fucked up like me? I only seem to find cool people online :(