Always the outsider

Just a vent.

Being on the spectrum probably plays a huge part but man is it unpleasant to be reminded of this. Whether it was high school or college I'd be friends with one or two people who were part of a bigger friend group, but never got the sense that I actually belonged.

Nowadays I just keep to myself or just hang one on one with people which suits me better. But, today an old friend from high school invited me out for what sounded like a fun experience, but they invited all their college friends too. It was fun, but then afterwards they just started making vacation plans in front of me to the point where I had nothing to contribute to the conversation. For a long time. And my high school friend did nothing to include me.

And it made me realize how little we did talk when we hang out, so rather than calling them my friend we were just acquaintances at this point. What was the point of even calling me? Just to add an extra body? Inconsiderate. Insulting.

Anyway, not doing that again. My time is more valuable than that. Goodbye.