“Chance of a lifetime”, don’t know what to do…

I have a very niche hobby and I live in the middle of nowhere, and I just discovered there’s a meetup of others (like 20 people) from my state and they are meeting RIGHT NEAR WHERE I LIVE. Usually the annual meetups are hours away. Not just that, the past month I have been crying that I have no friends and have no idea where to find any. It’s a perfect chance to meet people who like the same thing.

But then comes the anxiety.

This would be the first time in my life outside of school (I’m in my 20s now) where I would go without my mother, who has always been my social crutch. When I get flustered she would always be there to save me from looking like a freak.

Second, I have ARFID. And it’s at a restaurant. That will draw even more attention to myself. I researched the menu at the place and they might have some safe options (pretzels and fries), but I’m afraid of getting there and then being gross and I can’t eat them.

Even aside from that, my mind is flipping out like:

How do I walk in? What if I look awkward? These people won’t know me what if they already have their cliques just like they did when I joined a new Highschool? What if I make a fool of myself? What if no one talks to me? What if I’m just awkwardly sitting in the corner and no one says hi? But what if someone DOES say hi and I blow it by being a socially isolated loser? And what is even the point of going if I’m not socially smart enough to actually try and make friends? If I went, my mind would be focused on survival rather than actually making friends.

I also have chronic pain that makes it hard to focus, since I’m so focused on staying out of pain. What if I have to leave early because of the pain? What if people look at me funny for getting up and leaving or I can’t hold a conversation?

What if they ask about my life? I’m disabled and don’t have a “real” job, I make and sell things for some income and have never been to college. What if they are going to some event after like a movie and I can’t tag along since I can’t be out of my home too long without a chronic pain flare?

So many fearful questions but this is like what I have been waiting for. A chance to meet people with similar interests. I am Autistic and I have like 3 hobbies, my first one is a solo hobby, second one is for old people, this one is the only one with lots of people my age. It’s such a perfect place to meet possible friends and maybe find some friend groups.

I need help… I don’t want this opportunity to slip away…