My mother's "fruit salad"

This is my mother's annual fruit salad. She says this is a southern classic!!

We have:

1. Unwashed iceberg lettuce
2. Canned pineapple slices
3. Canned pears
4. A sprinkle of mozzarella
5. (My personal favorite) a fat dallop of mayo on top. This isn't pictured as she hasn't served this abomination yet.

My mother is a big fan of reddit and frequent this sub. She may see this. Please be brutally honest lol