Was I graped ?

I was emotionally abused by ex. We were together for three years. I lived with him in his parents house and we would always go to his room to play games on his bed.

We used to cuddle sometimes and I would try to communicate with him about our relationship and how he treats me. He would just gas light me and just start repeatedly saying he loved me. This would sometimes follow with him sneakly pulling down his pants and sliping himself inside me without my consent this always confused me and stressed me out. I started to resent him everytime he did it.

It was always start when I confronted him about something he did. I used to roll my eyes and think not agian I would put on a sad face with tears in my eyes just waiting for it to end i think one time i just played candy crush through it. After two years of our relationship i started to get pain after sex and wouldnt be able to walk for about half an hour or so.

Thats when I Lost interest in him completly. Before i left him we hadnt had sex for about a week or so and this was because I had a miscarriage and was bleeding alot. He begged and begged me for sex and tried to say if i didnt his balls would turn blue. After he said that I just felt sick like I was just a object to him. It's been 8 years since we broke up and I might have accidentally told him what he raped me on a drunken night out when i bumped into him. I'd never said that out loud before but I feel like I'm wrong in telling him.