Married nearly 10yrs, and last weekend learned in front of a group of friends that my vulva is not my husband's preference.

Let me preface this by saying that while I have many insecurities, my vulva has never been one of them. It's "tucked in" and I've always considered it to be "pretty" I suppose.

Last weekend while enjoying some drinks with friends somehow the topic of vulvas came up. The discussion was around "inies" vs "outies", and somewhere along the line my husband exclaimed something to the effect of, "I prefer an outie!" Now I understand that everyone has preferences, and that those preferences may not align perfectly with your partner, but I was taken aback by this revelation. After so much time together to suddenly learn that in intimate part of yourself is not your partner's preference is a little hurtful and I'm having trouble processing my feelings around this. I'm sure some of my emotional response links back to a poignant moment when my ex, whom I was deeply in love with, told me I was "not his type".

This probably all sounds trivial, but I guess I'm feeling an element of rejection and seeking some guidance to move past this. Any advice or anecdotes welcome.

ETA It seems that some of the language I used was as tactless as my husband. I recognise that some descriptors I used for my own anatomy drew attention to some societal "standards" which are degrading to others. As someone who has been told plenty throughout her life that aspects of her body did not meet these "standards" (small chest, red hair, big ears etc) I absolutely acknowledge that some of the terms I used buy in to those standards and I have removed them. I will also acknowledge that in the same way I felt a sense of relief when there was a societal shift towards an appreciation for a more voluptuous butt, I had also felt secure in the appearance of my labia, at least until last weekend. Apologies to anyone I offended.