I met my younger self for coffee today

I saw the trend "I met my younger self for coffee today" and what I thought would be a quick 5 min post, turned into the most therapeutic writing session of my life. I wanted to share what I wrote in case anyone else resonates with it. I have never written anything in my life so please be kind.

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I met my younger self for coffee today.

Her phone buzzed nonstop with work calls.
Mine sat face down, silent.

She wore a crisp business suit.
I showed up in gym clothes.

She ordered the sweetest drink on the menu.
I sipped a double shot of espresso—just a splash of almond milk.

She had already smoked fifteen bowls and popped an Addy.
I was sober.

She could only talk about work.
I listened, knowing she buried herself in it to escape the pain.

She looked at me with high expectations, searching my face for what her life had become.
She smiled, but there was so much pain behind it.

"Did I do it?" she asked.

I told her she did.
That she led with her heart and poured everything she had into helping others see their worth.
That her business was nationally ranked.
That, by her standards, she had made it.
That she should be proud.

"Should?" she asked.
Of course, she caught that word.

I sat in silence, unsure how to tell her—
That no matter how much she achieved, it would never be enough.
That the thing she clung to was the thing drowning her.
That the people she sought approval from would only take her for granted.
That she wasn’t proving her strength by holding on—
That she would only learn how strong she was when she finally let go.

My heart broke for her.
For the sleepless nights, the silent cries, the way she replayed every conversation,
every fight, every moment that made her feel unworthy of love.
She worked so hard to drown out that voice in her head,
never realizing she was trapped in a cycle,
never seeing how much she was worth.

We sat in silence.
I gathered my thoughts, knowing she would hang on to every word.

And I told her—

"Sweet girl, I am so proud of you.
You don’t know it yet, but one day you’ll be too tired to keep running.
The monsters will catch up.
Your heart will beg you to run again.
Your mind will whisper, just give up.
But you won’t.

"Because you are not a runner,
and you are most certainly not a quitter.
You are a fighter.
And you will turn around, ready to fight.

"But when you finally face them,
you won’t see monsters at all.
You will see your younger self.

"Beaten and broken down,
she will look at you with tears in her eyes and ask,
'Why were you running from me?'
And you won’t have the heart to tell her
it’s because you thought she wasn’t enough.

"Instead, you’ll smile and say,
‘I thought you’d catch up.’
She’ll be hurt—but thankful she finally did.

"Then she’ll whisper, ‘Thank you for slowing down.
I was afraid you were going to leave me behind.’
You will look at her deeply,
and at that moment,
you will understand."

I looked back at my younger self.
She was sipping her coffee vigorously, trying to keep her tears from spilling over.
With a shaky voice, she asked, "I learn to love myself?"

I smiled.
"Yes. And it’s all the love you’ve been chasing this whole time."

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