My daughter just learned that I was abused as a child, but it’s okay she fixed it.

Some back story, I (25F) was adopted as a teenager, my daughter knows this, but when she has asked why I I have only ever told her that I couldn’t live with my birth mother anymore. And when she asks why I explain that it’s not something I’m ready to tell her, or that I will tell her when she’s older.

My siblings and I were severely abused by my mother and step father, and my father was a drunk who was never around. When I was a teenager, I was able to escape my mother (I was the youngest and the last in the house) though technically I was a run away, the cops in the area knew my mother and things she had done to myself and my siblings in the past that there was no “proof” of so they refused to return me to my mother, saying I was close enough to 18. (One of the few up sides of living in a small town) I was taken in by some amazing people, the people I now call Mom and Dad, and the only grandparents my daughter has ever known.

Fast forward to today, I have a daughter (7F) and we were at my parents house this afternoon, I was talking to my mom (44F) in the dining room while my daughter was playing in the living room. And my mom and I got into the topic of childhoods and childhood trauma, I don’t remember exactly what my mom said something along the lines of ‘that’s because you didn’t have much growing up’, and I responded with, “No, that’s because I was abused.”

Right as my daughter walked in. I looked over at her and her eyes were so wide, and filled with tears. She asked me in the oh so gentle way that only a 7 year old can, “YOU WERE ABUSED?!”

I smiled at her softly and said, “Yes, baby. I was.” She came over and hugged me, she asked “So that’s why Ama is your mommy now?” And I said yes.

She hugged me again and said “I’m sorry you didn’t get a good mommy on your first time.” I hugged her back and said “It’s okay, because I have an awesome mommy now!”

With her head still in my shoulder she asked me, “Is that way you’re such a great mommy? Because you know what having a mean mommy feels like?”

And when I tell you my heart melted. I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I held my little girl so close. When I could talk without crying, I said, “That’s why I try my hardest to be as good of a mommy as I can.”

She got really serious, looked me dead in the eye, and said “You’re the best mommy, and if anyone says you’re not, they’re lying.” Then smiled and ran off to go and play again. Totally unaware that she had simultaneously healed a fair amount of my childhood trauma, AND my insecurities as a parent.