My mom find out again

When I arrived from school today she told me tomorrow I will be starting therapy again and with that I already knew that she knows it. She told me if she has to worry or anything bc she found blood tissues in the trash can and then told me to show her and I was like: fuck no. I know she didn't meant it in a bad way but I feel shitty af rn, now I want even badly to relapse... o(╥﹏╥)o