Anyone wanna talk?

I'm 16 I've been self harming and I cut deeper and made my arm bleed a decent amount as well as my thigh. But I keep thinking about od and I had a plan to do it the day after Thanksgiving but my niece told me she liked my choker that I wear a lot and it made me happy, because I feel like everyone hates me but that sparked the tiniest bit of happiness into me and I'm stull here. I played roblox and the vc made me feel horrible about myself even worse because I figured I'd try it out to see if I could improve my ability to talk with people but so many people told me they hated people like me and they made me feel bad about my avatar, when all I try to do is fit in, EVERYONE HATES ME!!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! though I will say that there was this one group of people made me feel like I was somebody even though I didn't talk much they talked to me and we just hung out for like 5 hours or something even though I wasn't good at conversation I didn't feel invisible for once. Sorry for the rant ig, nobody's probably going to care but yk I'm used to it at this point.