I Slept with 40 Women Last Year From Real Life Approaches - Here are 7 Lessons I learned
Last year, I slept with 40 women that I met through real-life approaches - on the street, in parks, shopping malls, and other everyday places. In this post, I want to share the lessons I learned from these experiences - some of which were quite surprising.
A Few Things to Clarify First
- All of these women I met in real life during the day/evening. While I did experiment a bit with nightclubs and dating apps, I’m not counting those experiences here. Here I want to focus purely on meeting women in real life - because that’s what I enjoy the most, and it’s what I want to talk about.
- This isn’t about bragging nor it was my goal to achieve any sort of number in terms of women I slept with. I know the title might come off as a little flashy, but my intention isn’t to brag. I have the utmost respect for every woman I’ve been with. This isn’t about objectifying women; I’m simply sharing the lessons I’ve taken away from these experiences.
- The nationalities were all over the place, I didn’t do any passport selecting. Spanish, North Americans, Scandinavians, South Americans, Eastern Europeans etc. I live in Barcelona, so there are loads of nationalities here.
- This will not be a post on how to flirt to women - if you’re looking for that, check my other posts where I have covered it extensively. Instead, I want to inspire the readers of this to take action themselves and to see what they are capable of if they decide to embark on this journey of real life approaches and how it can change their lives.
Lesson #1: This Is Actually Possible
A lot of guys don’t even consider the idea of meeting women in real life. They think it’s some kind of trick you only see on YouTube, or they assume it’s impossible for them. But I can tell you first hand - it is possible.
I met some incredible women this way, and if you get really good at it, you’ll create a lot of amazing romantic opportunities. The key is developing the right skills and actually putting yourself out there.
Lesson #2: You Learn To Rely on Yourself
One of the biggest things for me was realizing that I could fully rely on myself. I didn’t need dating apps, I didn’t need social events - I could literally just go out and create opportunities on my own. That gave me a huge sense of independence and confidence.
No one can take this away from me. Tinder could ban me. A club could shut down. But I’ll always have the ability to go outside, see a woman I find attractive, and start a conversation. That realization was powerful.
I love the fact I have 100% of control of whom I approach and I control the amount of effort I put in. So if I am not dating the girls I like or there is another problem - I can take all of the responsibility for this.
Also you can take action immediately. You finish work, go outside and in 30 min you can have a date. It's very empowering.
Lesson #3: Even With Abundance, Real Connection Is Rare
A lot of guys think that once they start dating more women, they’ll magically find “the one.” But here’s the truth - even when you meet a lot of women, deep connections are still rare.
Yes, I found all these women physically attractive - that’s already a big filter with meeting them in real life. But then there’s emotional attraction, compatibility, and whether they feel the same way about you. With each layer, the percentage of women you truly connect with gets smaller and smaller.
That’s why having options is so important. When you only date one or two women, you don’t really get to be selective. Beggars can't be choosers. But when you have an abundance of opportunities, you can afford to be much more intentional about who you spend time with.
Lesson #4: Connection Matters More Than Numbers
I never had a specific goal to hit a certain “number”, including the past year. My real focus was always on meeting women I genuinely connected with. And that’s what I learned - connection is everything.
For me, it’s not about just finding a girlfriend or just having sex. It’s about meeting someone you truly connect with, on both a physical and emotional level. That kind of connection is underrated. It’s actually difficult to find deep, meaningful connections, whether romantic or platonic.
Lesson #5: This Is One of the Best Ways to Experience Life
Last year was one of the happiest years of my life. I had so many amazing experiences, deep conversations, and vulnerable moments with incredible women. I went to bed smiling. I woke up excited about life.
If I died tomorrow (which hopefully won’t happen), I’d be happy knowing that I truly lived. I connected with other human beings on a deep level, and that’s what gave it all meaning.
Lesson #6: The Process Is More Important Than the Result
If someone offered me a shortcut where I could just have women magically show up at my door, I wouldn’t take it. Because for me, the real joy is in the process itself.
I love the challenge. I love the conversations, the uncertainty, and the self-improvement that comes with it. Yes, I slept with 40+ women. Yes, I went on hundreds of dates. But even more than that, I had multiple hundreds of interesting, fun, and meaningful interactions with women in-person - many of whom I never ended up dating. And that’s what truly made me feel alive.
There were some evenings where maybe I didn't get a single number but I had a few really fun conversations with girls which made my entire day.
Also I learned a lot about myself, some fears I still have to overcome, some insecurities I still need to fix, some limiting beliefs I still hold. So this process exposes you, you cannot escape it. It's an amazing mirror and if you are ready to look into the mirror, it will show you exactly what you need to improve about yourself. It is also extremely humbling and teaches you to not take yourself and life so seriously.
If you’re only focused on the end result - whether it’s sex, a relationship, or validation - you’re missing the bigger picture. The process itself is what brings happiness.
Lesson #7: The End Goal
People often ask me, “Don’t you want to settle down?”
Here’s my answer: I’ve already been in a serious, long-term relationship. I’ve already had all these experiences. And right now, I’m doing this because I love the process.
My goal is to keep doing this for the next 10 years - to explore different countries, different cultures, and to meet women all over the world. I want to go to Paris, New York, Sydney and explore their culture and women in different parts of the world. Because for me, this isn’t just about dating or “empty sex” - it’s about exploration and living my life with joy.
Also as I’ve said in other posts, I’ve started to prioritize looking for a connection rather than a label. If I meet a girl I really enjoy spending time with, I don’t necessarily care if she becomes “my girlfriend” with exclusivity. So don’t ask me why I still haven’t found “the one” - because that’s not even my goal. But if that’s your goal, throughout the last year I did meet around 5 girls I liked enough to technically enter a classic monogamous relationship, so you can do it with this process.
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that real-life dating is a skill that can transform your life. It’s about more than just getting dates or sex - it’s about building confidence, creating your own opportunities, and experiencing life on your own terms.
So if you’re still doubting whether this is possible, trust me - it is. And it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. It's extremely difficult in the beginning but if you don't quit and look for ways to improve your social skills, you can do it and it's totally worth it.
Good luck!