Relationships with children

So I (30f) and my 1 year relationship with (40m) moved in within 9 months and he brought his son with him (11) I myself have two children around same age. Let me address first I have an amazing boyfriend who takes care of me emotionally and physically and is so wonderful. I came from a really bad divorce with a lot of domestic violence. so it’s an amazing feeling being treated so kindly. However, in someways, I feel like a mom to him.

This is where it gets very difficult. His son refuses to go to the restroom in the toilet and this was a problem before me at the old place. My kids never had that problem and I potty trained them pretty quickly so I’m not very used to this. It makes my place smell disgusting. It gets on his clothes. And it doesn’t matter how many times you wash them it still smells. And he is very emotional and very highly overdramatic young boy. And unfortunately, this has made me feel a certain way towards him and caused me to not form a bond with him. my boyfriend has done what he can therapy and a doctor. But it’s like he’s okay with the situation. I smell his son in every room and it’s causing me to just not wanna be at home. And that’s my sanctuary.

I feel like I have to tell my boyfriend how to be a parent because we have two completely different parenting styles and I feel extremely bad about that and I don’t wanna do it because it makes me feel like I’m a mom to my boyfriend first. I’m totally aware that being with a person with kids would go hand-in-hand with me taking on a parent roll especially because his mom is not in the picture.

But to wrap it all up, I’m wondering if I should end the relationship due to me not feeling compatible with his son and I do not want to let his son down because I don’t feel like I’m right to handle this situation because I’ve tried everything myself as well and I’m feeling resentment towards him.Between this and the fact that my boyfriend makes barely enough money to support himself and I’m picking up the slack ….I’m wondering if I should end now before I get too deep into this.