Update - My(33F) Husband(36M) may have cheated on me with my dead best friend, and had an affair baby?

I've received a lot of messages asking for an update, so I've decided to finally sit down and write one out. As you can imagine, after the cluster fuck that was thrust upon us, this update isn't likely to answer any of your questions, only present a few more.

I want to start by telling you all that I love, and trust my husband. My reaction to ask him for space to think, in retrospect, was wrong...but at the time I didn't know what to think. It was a combination of losing my best friend again, and also the fear that I was losing my husband, that sent me spiralling.

Again, it was a mistake to ask him to leave, and I did rectify that in the end.

Now, for the update.

As mentioned in the original post, I did take a leave of absence from work and we spent a long time just being together. Talking, reaffirming our love for one another, and figuring out what to do next.

We of course spoke with a lawyer, and my husband was very adamant about not having anything to do with the child, but was willing to offer financial support as needed.

So we agreed to do a DNA test immediately to prove paternity, and then go from there. Didn't know you could buy tests on Amazon, but with only a few weeks processing it was the easiest path forward since Alexis lives hours away.

To everyone's surprise, Alice's daughter is not my husband. We ended up testing twice, both very, very definitive.

The first test we performed ourselves as mentioned, and another after Alexis refused to believe the first test, and took my husband to court for child support.

For a single second this whole thing made me second guess if my husband was raped; that this could have been her way of forcing my husband to admit to an affair...but after talking with Alexis, I don't think that was the plan.

Alexis says that Alice told her my husband was the father under strict confidence, demanding that she never, ever tell me or my husband. We were only ever to be told if Alexis died before Alice's daughter was old enough to take care of herself, so that she wouldn't end up in foster care.

The only reason Alexis came to us then, instead of keeping that secret, is because Alice's life insurance wasn't being released yet, and she was out of options. She also felt I should know my husband and her daughter had had an "affair".

This all reaffirms in my mind that Alice did rape my husband, with the expectation of getting pregnant with his child. She obviously had other partners at the time, since one of them fathered her daughter, but no one knows who. It's clear to me that Alice believed it was my husband.

I did suggest Alexis upload a sample to Ancestry, see if any matches pop up, but as Alice traveled all over for work, I don't know that anything will ever come of that. In truth, I've washed my hands of the situation. Alice did enough damage, and I don't particularly plan to be around for any more.

My husband and I have gone through a lot of counseling, and will likely continue for a while. This whole situation damaged us both, my husband more obviously, and I don't think we'll fully heal for a very long while.

To answer a few questions;

No, sadly there isn't a hidden diary, or texts to explain what the fuck was going on.

My husband and I are not getting divorced. He understands why I reacted the way I did, and has been strong when I was weak before. I've spent the past 7 months being strong while he was weak, so we're considering the whole thing even. We are still madly in love, and plan to be together for a long time still(more on this!!).

No, we will not be adopting Alice's child. If she had been my husbands, we would not have been adopting the child.

Ultimately I thank reddit for setting me straight. There was a massive outpouring of support, and corrective advice; to say I got a slap in the face would be a descriptive but apt way to put it. I needed it then, and I thank you for it.

To say that you may have saved my marriage is an understatement.

I do however, have some good news!

During my leave of absence, while my husband and I rediscovered what makes us love eachother the most...I got pregnant. We're expecting our first baby, a girl, in a little over 3 months, and my husband and I are ecstatic!

And no, we will not be naming her after my dead ex best friend.

TL;DR: Not my husbands baby, not our problem. No answers, just questions, and oh, I'm having a baby!