All my non-binary friends misgender each other in private

they all use the typical pronouns (he/him or she/her) that one would assume to use based on the person’s sex and presenting gender despite the fact they themselves request that everybody refer to them with they/them pronouns

it just frustrates me because it shows that not even the people who suffer from this particular kind of dysphoria (and that’s giving them the benefit of the doubt) can adhere to the new social contract they’re trying to push about gender and identity and like respecting each other’s individual truth or whatever. they expect others to do for them what they can’t even be bothered to do for others just like them. they live in and adhere to the rules of our gendered world while trying to act like they’re beyond it, not to mention they will of course basically drop you for being a shitty human (or at the very least grow immensely suspicious of you) if you try to prod them about any of this

i really enjoy the presence of these people. they are my friends. i don’t want to get so caught up over these things but it’s just ridiculous. i don’t understand how they can be so cognitively dissonant. they are asking to be politely lied to by the entire world (essentially saying “you can only say you see me as this thing”) while their own behavior all but disproves the notion that it’s meaningful or reasonable to ask such a thing.

all because of this incredible sensitivity they have about certain words being applied to them