Two weeks sober

15 days really but figured I'd give a report for the other alchies here. I'd been on and off sober for a while, last year was sober for about 8 months, had some negative life events and fell off the wagon hard for a few months. Was drinking a half of a handle a night.

Differences I've noticed since I stopped: -Much more productive, much more creative, able to actually work on things and not just wait for work to be over so I can drink. -Actually able to work on creative projects when not working because I'm not spending all that time drinking and out of my mind -Better relationships with friends, family. I'm much funnier, and probably not embarrassing myself as much as when I was getting crushed nightly. -Waking up after sleeping with actual energy, not crushed by 40,000 symptoms of hangover and withdrawal. -Face and body have stopped being constantly bloated and I'm dropping weight like an AIDS patient. -Overall a much more positive mood and outlook.

The strangest thing I've experienced is a weird time distortion. I had a horrible break up that made me say fuck it and start drinking again a few months back. Now that I've stopped drinking, my feelings about that person and our breakup have felt very fresh and very strange, as if I'm living it now. I suppose alcohol squashed those feelings and when I stopped my mind needed to process them. But it's definitely confusing, thinking that for this ex the breakup was months ago and for me it's happening in the past couple of weeks. Very odd. But I'm mostly through it now.

I thought I'd be more depressed and bored than when I was drinking, since I didn't have easy free dopamine each night, but I actually feel quite good. When drinking I'd have a horrible first half of the day but I could always look forward to drinking. Now I don't really have the same peaks and valleys, but I'm on a more even keel emotionally. Bad things don't really set me off, and good little things make me smile.

It's hard to explain how much damage alcohol, or a lot of alcohol, does to you I think. Beyond everything else, the thing I like about not drinking is that I feel like myself again. It's like drinking takes my soul and makes me able to ignore myself and my dreams and ambitions and hopes and so on. Now that I'm not drinking I can feel my soul again and it's quite hopeful even though I have a long way to go.

15 days really but figured I'd give a report for the other alchies here. I'd been on and off sober for a while, last year was sober for about 8 months, had some negative life events and fell off the wagon hard for a few months. Was drinking a half of a handle a night.

Differences I've noticed since I stopped: -Much more productive, much more creative, able to actually work on things and not just wait for work to be over so I can drink. -Actually able to work on creative projects when not working because I'm not spending all that time drinking and out of my mind -Better relationships with friends, family. I'm much funnier, and probably not embarrassing myself as much as when I was getting crushed nightly. -Waking up after sleeping with actual energy, not crushed by 40,000 symptoms of hangover and withdrawal. -Face and body have stopped being constantly bloated and I'm dropping weight like an AIDS patient. -Overall a much more positive mood and outlook.

The strangest thing I've experienced is a weird time distortion. I had a horrible break up that made me say fuck it and start drinking again a few months back. Now that I've stopped drinking, my feelings about that person and our breakup have felt very fresh and very strange, as if I'm living it now. I suppose alcohol squashed those feelings and when I stopped my mind needed to process them. But it's definitely confusing, thinking that for this ex the breakup was months ago and for me it's happening in the past couple of weeks. Very odd. But I'm mostly through it now.

I thought I'd be more depressed and bored than when I was drinking, since I didn't have easy free dopamine each night, but I actually feel quite good. When drinking I'd have a horrible first half of the day but I could always look forward to drinking. Now I don't really have the same peaks and valleys, but I'm on a more even keel emotionally. Bad things don't really set me off, and good little things make me smile.

It's hard to explain how much damage alcohol, or a lot of alcohol, does to you I think. Beyond everything else, the thing I like about not drinking is that I feel like myself again. It's like drinking takes my soul and makes me able to ignore myself and my dreams and ambitions and hopes and so on. Now that I'm not drinking I can feel my soul again and it's quite hopeful even though I have a long way to go.