I feel bad for my nmom .

TW:- mentioned of abuse/ assault/self harming.

Growing up I've seen my mother getting abused and disrespected by my father in most worst possible way he treated her like she's his slave.

But she projected all her truamas over me I never realised why she started calling me prostitute when I was 13 accuse me of having sex and affair when I was just a kid that time and use to beat the shit out of me. She never took my side for her I was the only one who do mistakes she didn't even believed me when I opened up to her bout me getting assaulted. Accused me of blackmailing someone when I was self harming myself.

As a women I've so much empathy for my mother I feel bad for her I know situation and the environment made her this way but as a Daughter I've so much resentment towards her for the way she treated me throughout my childhood and still does I even wish her to die. But as soon as she acts normal or even talk normally to me or so something nice i melt i started feeling that she is a good person I feel empathetic towards her.