Need Advice for Day 1-3

Hi quitting7oh,

Fell off the wagon a couple months ago and have snowballed into shameful, expensive, unmanageable addiction. Never used 7OH until then, only kratom extract shots. I am also on 3mg of suboxone daily but I’ve noticed that suboxone seems to not be enough to replace 7OH, although it did just fine for extract shots in the past (even at low doses like .25 to .5mg).

Currently dosing 100mg 7OH and 250mg MIT per day, with 3mg suboxone taken before bed.

My previous attempts at kicking haven’t gone well with 7OH, as the withdrawal felt like “too much” to juggle my responsibilities (single dad of 3 kids and stressful corporate job) and I don’t have the luxury of taking time off work to detox. BUT, I haven’t been able to make it past day 3 yet and maybe that’s the worst of it? It’s weird because I was able to get off actual opioids with suboxone succesfully, but I can’t seem to avoid withdrawal from 7OH, even with subs (maybe I need a higher dose?)

I decided this weekend that I must stop because it’s financially draining and I know I can’t stay on this forever. Got a lot of reasons to quit! Health, kids, career, getting married, finances, etc.

I see my Doctor in 2 days, and I am going to come clean to him about my recent use (his office doesn’t test for kratom), especially because I secured some benzos this weekend to get me through the acutes which just began hitting tonight, and the benzos will show up on my drug test. I ordered some kratom drug tests from Amazon to bring with me to his office and ask him to use them on me for accountability.

My biggest issue is HOW do I interrupt the habit of buying it every morning and afternoon? I wake up committed to quitting but once I get in the car I’m seemingly compelled to pick up “just one more” and the cycle repeats. How do I make buying it “not an option?”

I mostly use for “performance enhancement” like plowing through the work day, handling all my parental responsibilities, and lasting longer in the bedroom (although I believe it’s causing problems there now too as my libido’s become non existent while it’s active in my system, but after 6-8 hours I’m usually still good to go but a lot of times I can’t climax and I’ve lost sensitivity which is causing me to lose my erection/interest after 10-15 minutes of sex).

Please offer any words of encouragement or advice for getting through the next few days. I need to know what to do to not buy any tomorrow and how to ride the craving waves while the physical symptoms are present.

Sorry for long post, but I needed to be honest and unburden myself to the only people who will understand.

Thanks in advance.