My guidance counsellor told me I wasn’t “university material”, and years later I pretended not to know her.

I know it doesn’t sound much like revenge, but it was oh so sweet, let me tell you.

Back in high school, I struggled hard. I had a step-dad who adopted me and then ignored me my whole life, and a mom who was wrapped up in making his life perfect. Yeah he was what some might call a textbook narcissist, with my mom as his “flying monkey” (wizard of oz reference).

Anyway, school was a difficult time for me, and I had a lot of anxiety and a hard time focusing. I attended all my classes, and was always doing very well on my assignments, but had trouble completing them.

My guidance counsellor was the same all through high school, and every year would start with a meeting with her, and I would explain I needed more help, because I was struggling to focus. She brushed me off every time, stating that I obviously wasn’t trying hard enough because I had no excuse, since my step-dad (adopted dad) was…wait for it…a social worker for the school board and personal friend of hers. Yeah it was awful.

At the end of high school we had our obligatory meeting about what colleges/universities or trades schools to apply to. I told her I was interested in psychology and would like to be a counsellor or to teach psychology.

This woman scoffed. Literally scoffed at me. She said, and I quote “please do not apply to university. It would be a huge disappointment for you. You are not university material, and you may be better with a community college or even certificate in administration”.

Now let me say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with going to community college or getting a certificate in something. Nothing at all. But this woman’s words would haunt me my whole life. I wanted to pursue something I was very interested in, and she essentially told me I wasn’t smart enough or capable enough to do it.

Fast forward to my late 20s. I worked at a variety of small jobs here and there and became very depressed. I finally decided one day that f*ck it - I’m applying for university.

Well I got in and I graduated with honors. So I went to teachers college for another bachelor degree. Again, graduated with honors. And about 5 years ago, I finally finished my Masters in behavioral psychology.

Two years ago step-dad died, and who is at the visitation? My old guidance counsellor.

She came right over and started talking to me immediately like she knew me, like we’re old friends. I cut her off and said “I’m so sorry, you must be confusing me with someone else”. She looked absolutely shocked and said “I was your guidance counsellor! For 4 years.” And I just shook my head and gave the best blank look I could give, shrugged and said “sorry, I honestly don’t remember you”. When I left she looked a bit confused and disappointed. I think she had hoped for me to have all of these good memories of her, how helpful she was to me as a teen. But nope. I wanted her to feel that she was nothing to me. Had zero effect (even though she did affect me, I wasn’t letting her know that).

I felt pretty good about that.

EDIT: To anyone wondering, I now teach psychology to future counsellors! So I’m doing what I originally wanted, and that made this so much sweeter.

2nd EDIT: my mom had run into her a few times at the grocery store before this, and has bragged about my accomplishments, so I didn’t have to tell her about them, she knew I was successful. Since she already knew, I pretended she was nobody to me, to ensure she understood she contributed nothing.

Also those who say she helped me in the end and she was right. No. I asked her to help me for 4 years and got nothing. She laughed at my dreams and goals. She did not do her job. She failed as a guidance counsellor and, frankly, also as a decent human being.

3rd EDIT: Wow thank you for all of the encouraging words!! You guys are awesome. It sounds like this touched a nerve for a lot of people. It makes me sad how many people were treated like this too. I’d love to expand on my story more but I wouldn’t know where to do that. I’m just glad this post was able to inspire some people to achieve their dreams in spite of the adults who said they couldn’t.

To the haters who still want to argue “BuT sHe HeLpEd YoU”, yeah no. I motivated and helped myself. How dare you try to diminish my hard work by saying this woman who failed me was helping? Shame on you for saying that. Bullies aren’t motivational tools, they’re just tools.