“The fallacy of overnight pay…”
Here’s a gem from a couple I just cut ties with because they believe $50-$120 is what should be paid for 24 hr round-the-clock care (I’m citing the messages in text because I live in a state where two-way consent is needed to share screenshots of digital communication):
Me: “If you need me to be at your house for 76 hours straight, I’d really like to streamline pay to the state’s minimum wage of $10 for every hour your dog is under my care and I am in your house with her”
From the wife: “The fallacy of extrapolating overnight pay to an hourly rate is that you aren’t actually taking care of the dog for the entire 24 hours.”
Me: “So then how long do you need for me to be at your house? How many hours of my time will you require?”
Wife: “We need you from 10am Wednesday until 2pm Saturday, but you can leave for 1-2 hours during that time if you’d like. There’s only about four hours of active work involved each day, two 30 minute walks plus two 30 minute play sessions, then an hour total for potty breaks during the day and an hour to brush her at night. We’re paying you $30/hr for each active hour so you’ll get $120 per 24 hours.”
Me: “So do you need me for four hours each day or do you need me for 76 hours but I’m allowed to leave for 1-2 hrs across the four days of Wed-Sat for a total of 74-75 hours and I’m only paid for four hours each day?”
From the husband: “I’m jumping in here. It’s only four hours of taking care of the dog but we get the comfort of your 24 hour presence with her in our home. And it’s three 24 hour periods plus an extra four hours, not four days.”
Me: “Again, do you need me for four hours each day? Am I going to be paid for the hours you require me to be at your house?”
Husband: “It’s a treat for you to get to stay at our house. We’re paying on the high end of $120 every 24 hours you’re at our house when you only have to spend four hours actively caring for our dog.”
Me: “So I get to sleep in my own bed each night?”
Husband: “No, you will need to sleep in our bed with the dog. That’s in the instructions. $120 for 24 hours or we’ll find someone who will do it for half that rate because we pay generously by giving you some food from our pantry and letting you add your personal laundry when you wash the bedsheets.”
Me: “I’m so glad you’re able to find someone at half the rate! $60 for 24 hour presence is a steal, so I don’t know why you’re even talking to me about rates.”
Husband: “We aren’t talking to you about rates, we’re giving you a choice if you want to work for $120 every 24 hours or we’ll move on to someone cheaper.”
Me: “Please move on. I respect your desire to save money by paying someone $60 to be at your home for 76 hours straight.”
Husband: “We really like you and would like to keep using you.”
Me: “That’s great! I do need to earn minimum wage per hour that your dog is in my care at your house. So if you want for me to be inside of your house with your dog, then I need to earn $10/hr.”
Husband: “We can’t keep going back and forth. You can sleep on our offer of $120. It’s three 24 hour periods so you’ll earn $360 to be here Wednesday through Saturday. You can leave for up to 2 hours total during that time. Don’t you work from home? You can keep doing your regular job here. It’s a great setup for you.”
By the end, I just lost it… 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣