My crush is a nerd and plays osu!, help

I need help. I noticed my friend's Discord status shows he's been playing osu! for like 28 HOURS or something in the past two weeks.

The problem? I developed a dumb crush on this nerd a few years ago and it refuses to go away despite the fact that I keep telling myself it's stupid and I need to stop so now I'm about to download this game and click 9000+ circles, 15 years of meta, and I don't even know why I'm doing this, seriously, why? I don't know anything about osu! except some guy pointing at the screen screams "WHEN YOU SEE IT!" and there's a cookie or something like that (idk I'm more of a tamagotchi fan)

This is what rock bottom looks like. I'm about to spend my night clicking digital circles because my brain decided to like THIS GUY. Not the gym guy who asked me out, not the cute barista who remembers my order. Nope. But the short, stupidly awkward, doesn't even know how to properly put on a tie osu! guy.

Why am I like this?

Send help, send a therapist. Or better yet, send a complete beginner's guide to this game because I'M ACTUALLY DOWNLOADING IT RIGHT NOW.

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