I'm 20 years old and ruined my teeth

Between ages of 12-16, I had absolutely no dental hygiene. I mean I would spend months at time without brushing my teeth. Add that with your average teenager diet + antidepressives/antipsychotics and other tons of medicine and now my teeth are ruined.

I never thought I would live this long. I never thought my actions (of lack of) would have any type of consequences because I simply wouldn't be here. It didn't matter if I brushed my teeth or not, if I ate correctly or not - I couldn't see a life for me outside of my teenage years. Now I can chalk it up to my depression (which mostly happened because of my debilitating OCD), but at the time I was so incapable of imagining myself as an adult I truly and absolutely believed I was going to die before 18. I don't even mean by suicide - I just thought I was born to be one of these kids you see in the news, mangled in a car accident, killed in a robbery gone wrong, ravaged by a mysterious disease. I waited but that never happened. Someday I hit 18 and then it's like I woke up after a long coma.

I lost 3 different tooths already. Will probably lose other 2 or even 3 more. Every single one of my teeth has caries, in varying degrees. I can't remember what is like to live without pain anymore.

But the worst of it - I don't know how much money my mom already spent with this. 10,000? 15,000? 20,000? She is probably going to have to spend another 20,000. She is the owner of multiple stores, just like my dad, and theoretically she COULD pay for it, but not without working herself to the bone. My life is the one most would kill to have and I took all this luck and privilege and destroyed it. I am a full-time student at day and only work at night - the money I earn in one month is probably only enough for 1 root canal treatment. I thought I knew what suicidal ideation was as a teenager but I don't think I have ever considered suicide as strongly as I do now. It seems to be a rational course of action, if suicide ever is.

It's like someone had control over your body for years, ruined it almost beyond repair and then just left you to deal with the pain. But it was not someone else. It was me. It was all me. I did this to myself. It's completely my fault. There's no other way to spin this.

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Edit: Thank you all so much for all the kind words and the advice. I posted this 2 hours ago, got annoyed at my own post and decided there's not much use crying about it anymore. I know killing myself is definitely not the right call, and actually way too dramatic for a situation that can still be resolved. It's just hard to go against my own guilt sometimes.

I am already set to do some work in a local dental school (which is cheaper) but the waiting list is long, and, according to my doctors, my case is urgent. I'll investigate the dental course in my university & try to find other schools here that offer similar services. Sorry to worry you guys. Once again, thank you so much.