I’m so particular about my partners I think I might die alone….

Hello all, this will probably just seeming like someone just complaining and honestly that’s kinda what it is, so if you would rather not read completely understand that! For those who do stay or even offer a comment or advice thank you! As my title says I’m (25M) very particular about my partners… but not in the traditional sense? Like personality I think I want what most men do a loving loyal kind and supportive partner. But when it comes to outward appearances I’m very particular…. I like very big women(for examples search Marry Boberry, Jexxawolves, ect) but idk if it’s because of how I date or maybe my personality, I treat everyone with respect but I do have a problem with my autism and it comes out as a “I wanna be super close physically and constantly together with the person I like” so I am clingy ig but I try never to cross someone’s boundaries! Yet still I am very alone…. I am not the greatest looking but I know I’m not bad either I’m taller then most and don’t have horrible facial features. I’m just very average. But if anyone has felt this way or delt with these feelings, how do you cope?