i hate life.

i truly mean it, and i mean it in EVERY possible way. i stay up sometimes literally reflecting and thinking about what the fuck im doing here, or actually, what the fuck is everyone doing on this earth? i look at people, everyone doing the exact same shit, everyday. pretending to be happy about their jobs, relationships, family, anything. i keep thinking, i don't have any dreams at all anymore. i used to be a kid that would dream big, fantasize about a perfect life (cause that's what people tell us when we are growing up and we're still stupid and innocent, that life can be perfect) i don't dream of anything because once i get to have it im gonna get bored of it. how fucked up is that??? sometimes i think -i wish i had more money and then i see people with lots of money and unhappy as FUCK. then i think, oh, nevermind. there is not a single thing that ever made human beings feel truly fulfilled. and people don't talk about it enough. everyone absolutely just think its better to pretend being happy. and trust me, i tried that too. but im sick of it. when i think about a thing that would make me feel happy, i also think that very same thing will bore me to death at some point. and until the day i die i will have to be longing for more stuff to distract me and make me feel 'happy' again. But there is nothing. its like a fucking video game where you think you are winning but you are at the very same spot frozen. it blows my fucking mind that there are billions of people on this earth. how many people were (and are) brainwashed to the point of knowing EXACTLY how much life sucks and STILL bringing new kids to this world? I truly will never get it. Never. I resent my parents everyday for putting me here. i would never do this to a child, bring it to a fucked up world knowing everything i know. every kid that is born is born to suffer. and that's what we do. till we die. (maybe even after that) :)