Newborn nights are brutal

Here to vent as I begin another newborn night😅 So many people told me "oh, all they do is sleep when they're newborn" Excuse me?? No, they do not. Don't get me wrong, I am soaking in all the snuggles and cute moments and it being just me and my baby, but holy hell I was not prepared. The feedings while half asleep, the fear of accidental cosleeping, sids, dropping the baby, the post partum nightmares, etc. And then when the baby finally gets to sleep for the 30 minutes or so he does sleep, I just lay there staring at him making sure he is okay. And when I finally doze off he is waking up again. It's just crazy. I never expected the feeling of panic as soon as the sun goes down every night. I realize this may not be everyone's experience but for me having a newborn is so scary 😅