Feeling lost

I am definitely a moderately granola mom to a wonderful baby. Up until now I feel proud of the decisions I have made around my baby’s health but recently I feel tested and like I am making decisions out of fear and disregarding my own concerns. Looking for some reassurance or other advice.

After our first run in with the flu which turned into a high fever and ear infection, I followed doctor’s order to follow a Tylenol schedule to reduce the fever and went thru multiple rounds of antibiotics for the stubborn ear infection. Obviously the baby’s health and comfort are my main priorities but I do worry about the baby’s microbiome and other controversies around antibiotic overuse and acetaminophen. Also, I had planned to do MMR at 2 because we live in a very small town and the baby will be just at home with me but now there is an active measles case in the town over so I am now considering getting it sooner than planned 100% out of fear. I have been listening to the pediatrician because I’ve never gone thru this before but suddenly I feel totally lost. I just want to make the best decisions that I can and It’s not that I feel super strongly against any of these things it’s because I’m having to think about them for the first time.

Am I totally buggin? Is listening to medical professionals at all times more important than any of our own knowledge about more “holistic” aka “granola” remedies? How do you find the balance? Is throwing out “the plan” just part of motherhood? Would love to hear your thoughts.