Is this somehow Social Anxiety?

21M. When I was a kid I used to be very introverted and quiet, my mom thought at some point that I had some type of autism due to some behaviours that I had. For example: I talked and starting playing games with my sister (4 years older than me)for the first time when I was 4 years old.

I only ate food made by my mom and never let strangers hold me when I was a baby, I would cry very hard until I was back with my mom and some other behaviours. I used to never talk or even look at my dad as well.

Eventually it got better and I became a “normal kid and teenager” but I’ve noticed that I have a big fear of being judged, I suspect this is rooted in shame of having less resources than other kids in my classroom, I wasn’t poor, just didn’t have as much as some others. And I’ve always compared myself with other people of my age.

I would say that I’m a social person, I like meeting new people, I make friends relatively easy and I like going out. But the fear of being judged by others has actually impacted my life in very ways.

I’m a good looking man but I’ve never have a girlfriend and I remember that in 3 occasions I took a step back with girls that I really liked and they liked me back, just because sightly had fewer economics resources than them which made me ashamed.

I’m not poor but I’ve always tried to appear wealthier than I am. I know all of this sounds stupid but it’s the way it is.

At one time I was offered a model contract that I declined just because of the fear of being judged somehow.

I think all of this have made my life harder and I don’t know what to do.

How does all of this makes sense if at the same time I like to be the centre of attention and show myself now and then in social media or social environments.

What are your thoughts on this. And thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Pd: I’m thinking that all of this might be crap and self obsession somehow.