My 21st birthday is on Friday.

My (M20) 21st Birthday is on Friday. I don’t know why but I hate it, I don’t want to do anything but I mean that in a self destructive way, Im not sure if it’s the fact I have an absent father, or that I hate being the center of attention and maybe it’s because a very large majority of my birthdays I’ve really spent alone or with a girlfriend and my mum. Its probably a combination, and now throw into the mix that my ex (who I met this time in 2022, and who insured I had a good day that year, and last year) we broke up 6 months ago, it kinda adds to something I don’t like. My mum wants me to do something for my 21st but I really want to just be a dick about it. I don’t know why and I’m worried I’ll regret not doing anything.