Everyone wants me to change my weight… what do I want?

To put into context: I’m not overweight. I’m also not thin. I’m 5’7 145lbs and very fit (I weight train everyday). I’m not happy with my body but I don’t know why.

All I know is I’m sick of a society telling me what to do. Everyone says “oh you would look great a little thinner” or “you’re too thin, are you eating?” I can weigh the exact same thing and the same person will tell me both. But it’s not just that. It’s social media. Thin models who weigh 25 lbs less and look taught and lean or the pro-thick movement where models who weigh 25 lbs more have curves and big butts. I am neither have neither and there’s no guarantee that if I lost or gained weight I would look like either of them. I just look average.

The most hypocritical of all is: I’m sick of people telling me to be happy as I am. I’m not happy with my body, and it’s okay to want to change. But I don’t know what my ideal body is.

I guess I’m just tired of anything being about my weight, and maybe women wouldn’t hate themselves so much if we stopped valuing people for their bodies.