Calorie counting sucks

I hate calorie counting. It's so hard to find the exact amount and the exact food I'm eating. But what's worse is that it make me feel like every time i eat in commiting a sin and it just doesn't make me wanna log in the food i eat because every time I log it into my calorie tracker my jaw drops to the door bc there's no way that little amount of food has that many calories. It actually scares me. But I really want to lose the weight and feel more confident in myself, but it feels so constricting and it sucks.

I haven't even been eating that much bc I've been fasting (for religious reasons, not intermittent fasting) so how tf am i supposed to eat a certain amount of calories on a NORMAL day when I'm literally already close to going over that amount.. I'M GOING INSANE

I don't know what I'm really asking for here, but are there any tips to overcome this? Like the whole going insane part