I Would if I could

You have always been like that. You always find the beauty in things. It's why I posted the photos I did. I wanted you to see that I was working to do what you taught me all those years ago. I wanted you to know I kept my promise. You made me promise I would be ok when we first got to know each other.

You are missing access to details given your response to what I have shared over time.

Also...you know my family situation. Don't sit there and act like my family situation is fine. I shared what I did to showcase a shift in my own state of being. That does not mean I have family. It's not the same as your situation. But don't forget what you know.

I obviously don't know what is happening. I can't know the gravity because I am wandering in the dark right now and until more things are shared, I don't know. How would I know?

I have wept with the things I have learned. Whenever you share any little detail, I feel it deeply. I can't know of your pain exactly because I am not you. But that doesn't stop me from working to understand. If I could take on your pain for a moment to fully understand, I would.

I am deeply sorry to hear of the further losses that have happened. I am deeply sorry. I can't even begin to write all the thoughts I have without it giving away too many details. It's just absolutely fucked up on so many levels.

I still stand by what I told you. I will answer the call. I hope you will give it one day. I am sorry you can't take in how much you matter to me and that everything I have been doing has been because I chose you a long time ago. I do love you.