Empathy and grief working with human cancer cell line

I have been guilt ridden and compelled to get some advice when it comes to working with human cell lines and even samples. For the past two years as a research tech I have primarily working with mice tissues and murine cell lines.

Recently I have been looking into getting a positive control for an in vitro stimulation assay and came across a human cancer cell line that would be perfect. However as I looked further into the specific details on the ATCC website, I realized the cell line originates from the cancer of a three year old boy.

I know he and his cell line is not the first and won’t be the last cell line to originate from a human patient. but ever since knowing the origin of the cell line and how young the patient was at his death, I have been ridden with intense feelings of grief and sadness.

I can’t imagine the pain he must have felt as a young child not knowing what was happening to him, much less understanding cancer and the meaning of death. I can’t help but tear up and start crying as I think about the long life he had ahead of him.

Has anyone else dealt with an experience similar to mine? How do you navigate such intense feelings? I know his life lives on in the research and breakthroughs his cells still provide to his day but there still exists an intense about of sadness within me.

Edit: the cell line was established in the 1970’s - for those who are asking why im assuming the patient has passed, you’re right and thank you for giving me the additional perspective. That is on me as I do not have much knowledge on the origins of cell lines from human samples. Maybe the patient is out there and has recovered, living a long life. Thanks!

Final/Edit 2: hello everyone! I’m so grateful and appreciative of all the responses I’ve gotten to my post. It was reassuring to hear that I am not the only one to feel this way. I want to say an extra thank you for the ones who shared their stories and perspectives. You have inspired and lit a new flame in me to rediscover the light in the research we do. (Recent events may have clouded and left me jaded) Your vulnerability and words are not taken for granted.

Though people suggested reading the immortal life of Henrietta Lacks, funnily enough I had read her story and the book back in high school. Her story was one of the biggest reasons that made me want to dive into research as a future career. The injustice done to her was a tragedy. As an Asian American woman, I’ve kept the racism, sexism, and ethical issues of the medical/ research community always in the front of my mind.

As for working with animal models, please don’t think that is any easier for me either. For the few that tell me I should feel guilt for working with mice who have no understanding of consent or autonomy, I am well aware. For the first year as a tech working with mice, I followed my mice from their birth to their death. It was incredibly hard for me to deal with and is still an emotional toll on me even now. The only thing that keeps me going is the same that many of you have said: it is for the greater good of research :)

TLDR: thank you for your advice and words. I will work on my mindset and look at the brighter side of things. Lab work is hard and none of it should be for granted. Empathy and vulnerability isn’t a bad thing but I won’t let it stop me from continuing what I love to do.