Struggling with Body Image and Fear

Asalamu Alaykum everyone, I hope you’re all doing well and having a blessed Ramadan with your families.

I’ve been going through a tough time lately, and I’m really struggling. I’m sorry if this post feels long. To give some context, I’m an Arab woman, hijabi, 5'3", and currently weigh around 155lbs. I’ve always been on the heavier side, but recently more than ever I’ve started feeling more insecure when I look at myself in the mirror. I find myself comparing myself to others a lot. In the community I’m in and at my college, it seems like every Muslimah I see is stunning and slim, and I feel like I don’t fit in. I’m heavier and have a lot of excess fat in my stomach, big thighs, and wide shoulders and it’s really starting to affect me.

I’ve always dreamed of getting married soon, but I’m scared and feel unsure of myself. Another thing that’s been bothering me is that I’m pretty hairy, and I notice that many other Arab women around me don’t have body hair, which makes me feel like an outlier. I’m trying my best to go to the gym, follow a diet, and work on losing weight, but sometimes I wonder if that will ever be enough or if I’ll ever meet someone’s standards when there are so many other beautiful women out there. I feel lost and emotional.