Brothers I’m down bad

First of all, bismillah and ASA.

Okay let’s get into it. Today, the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met in my life told me that I could come over on Thursday night ( it’s Monday as of today) and spend the night with her alone doing whatever you can imagine ‘until I’m completely drained’ (her words). Wallahi I thought about it and thought about it and kept thinking possible ways I could buy myself that time and go over there. I assured myself it would be secret and it would just be a night and no one has to know and I could just tell my parents I picked up an extra shift that night and it was overnight. Next day I could literally come back home and that’s that. One night spent with the most beautiful girl I’d seen. Something out of a dream. But one half was telling me how I will have to keep this secret from all people in my life and my future wife, how I will hate myself and spend my life in repentance, how I will be brought up on judgement day and asked about this and will have to explain, how my future kids will see me, how Allah swt may trial me with a cheating wife, how I would probably not love my future wife right because she wasn’t my technical ‘first’, with what face I would even face my lord during that Friday prayer (bc prayer must go on right?). Nonetheless, I was torn in half. I took a shower and thought hard about my decision and the clear fork in the road. I texted her saying no and she immediately blocked me on everything. Right now, I’m feeling sadness and a tiny bit of regret at what could have been but at the same time I feel closer to Allah than ever. I’m a cloud of emotions to say the least. Brothers, please if you have any Hadiths or verses or comments please let me hear them. I feel like a loser and pretty lonely.

E: Jazak allah khayr to all the people here that responded. I can say I truly formed a different perspective. I’m honestly cringing and embarrassed about the whole situation and that it was even an issue but you know what I’ll take it as a sign of growth.