I’m scared to date interracially in Trump’s America
I (32F/BW) have nowhere else to really talk to about this because my friends don’t date interracially and my therapist is a white man (who is AMAZING and has truly saved my life in the years we have worked together) but doesn’t interracially date either.
Before the election, I was a flirty girl who would walk up to any guy and was 99% of the time able to strike up interest in them. I’ve been on random dates with men of all races all over the world (I travel pretty frequently for leisure and just love meeting people or my friends and I will strike up conversations with people that lead to it)
I’m a very beautiful woman. I don’t really have a physical type aside from loving muscular men. It’s mainly personality for me. I’ve never had a boyfriend (super strict parents died when I was a teen/young adult and was homeless and struggled awhile alone) and have been celibate for 8 years (a personal choice I made as a demisexual woman to wait til I’m in a relationship.) My celibacy used to be the thing that limited me in dating. Since the election, we cant even GET to that before a cacophony of other shit comes up. The dating apps are full of stuff like:
White men on the apps being OPEN Trump supporters trying to date me: a visibly, make-no-mistake-about-it Black woman. I have even put disclaimers up on my profiles to ward them off. It absolutely STINKS of fetishizing.
I have had two Latino men since January tell me that Trump is “the best man for the job” and when I canceled the date, they said I was being judgmental. But a man’s values matter to me more than anything.
White and Latino men who may not be open Trump supporters but now the code word on dating apps is “I don’t discuss politics.” Which is insanity. It’s very easy to screen these people lately as we have a local election coming up where I am.
Men finding out what I do (just saying my job title sort of gives away that I am financially stable) and behaving as though women shouldn’t be as fiscally independent as I am. This and other hypermasculine, uber-conservative ideas are proliferating the dating scene in general. It’s sick.
I’m scared to even approach non-Black men and strike up conversations. It’s become demoralizing. I love the social aspect of dating and it feels like, since the election, the lines in the sand have been drawn and we’re all relegated to our individual corners (unless you’re willing to sellout your own people and your dignity like Candace Owens). The open racism in the media makes me afraid to “go beyond the color line” socially too.
I’m not sure what to do. I’d really appreciate some advice from anyone else maybe experiencing dating as a BW during this time.