Does anyone else feel parenthood has just been one huge letdown?

I never really thought about this before I had kids but now they are here I feel so let down by what having kids is like. I’m anxious most of the time about being a crap mum, not doing enough for them/spending enough time with them, raising them to be decent humans /losing my temper /losing my patience/ damaging their self esteem. In all honesty o hate being a mum. I hate the monotonous day to day life, the endless meal planning, the sibling fights , the challenges it causes in my marriage. I feel I was missold a dream that’s anything but. Stuck feel horrid but yet feel guilty for feeling This way as I know they won’t be little for long or even at home for long as time moves so fast. Just really thought after 9 yrs I’d start to enjoy being a mum