My mom is upset about me shaving my head
Context:
“The stunt” I pulled was my shaving my head. Before band camp last summer I grew tired of my hair and I had always wanted to cut it extremely short. I used to have really long hair and even getting it cut to my shoulders was a huge hassle because my mom didn’t like it. After 2 years or so of it being to my shoulders I wanted to try it shorter but my mom always refused because I “wouldn’t like it”. If I didn’t like it I would grow it back, no? I ignored my mom and just shaved it off one day down to an inch all around. Everyone at band camp loved my hair and even sent supportive messages in the band group chat when they heard how my mom took my phone away and said I betrayed her. My band teacher even said it looked good and was upset about my mom not liking it. My mom said I was a bitch and couldn’t see me or talk to me ever again- and for about 2 weeks she did that.
About the text:
She said I am never home anymore when it’s because I’ve been doing my after school activities I’ve signed up for. Lately I’ve been in winter guard, jazz band, e-sports, and my schools musical. All conflicting schedules where I had something everyday after school AND on the weekends for almost the past two whole months. My boyfriend does the exact same activities that I do and he is also my ride so I’ve been spending weekends with him to save on gas. Because of these clubs I haven’t been able to clean my room as much but for extra context, my mom is using part of my bedroom closet as storage for her things and this doesn’t leave me much room to put my belongings in so I have some boxes and a tote of my stuff just laying about in my room. The only real mess in my room is my dresser, I tend to just throw my pocket items on it at the end of the day while I get undressed and I don’t ever really deal with it. I’ve communicated with her about struggling with my room because she has stuff in my closet and that I would get to cleaning my dresser and washing my basket of clothes once my clubs died down (Spring break is next week). She hasn’t done anything about my concerns yet.
I’m also out of the phase of saying that I’ll do something later as I’ll be going to college soon and I needed to drop that habit. My life at school is perfect, I have a good standing with my teachers and am friends with just about everybody because I’m a leader in our schools music program. Unless people are keeping a secret, almost everybody seems to enjoy my presence and I don’t know how my attitude and actions are impacting people other than positively. As for getting my drivers license- I have told my mom numerous times that I have wanted to go driving and she responds with things similar to “I don’t want to right now” or “Not tonight, maybe this weekend we can.” I have driven some but certainly not 50 hours yet
My mom saying she will take my laptop and turn the WiFi off stresses me out the most. How will I apply for scholarships? What about doing my school work? If I can’t do my current school work I won’t be able to graduate. If I get my phone shut off I can’t communicate with my teacher that is giving me an 8th hour advanced biology class (we have 7 classes a day for school). I LOVE that class, it’s why I took it on as an extra hour instead of dropping my band class, which I also love as I’ve been a Drum Major the past two years.
Lastly, I have spoken with her boyfriend about pulling his truck out so I can drive it and take the drivers test in it and he said he would get it out. This was before the winter season last year. We haven’t talked about it since and if what my mom is saying is true he should be telling me, like an adult. I do respect my mother. A lot. Just before the musicals call time yesterday I went home and vacuumed, mopped, and cleaned the litter boxes- it isn’t much but I did it for her and she even texted saying thank you when she got home after work. The last message from her is about a college visit day that we scheduled a while back.
What do I even do? This happens often and I usually would just deal with it and sleep it off but I’m going to college soon and I don’t want her to still be treating me like this at random. I can’t just shake her off like I would want to, I’m on her insurance till I’m 26 (unless I get married) and she said she would help me pay for my college. My mom has done worse things than this to the point where CPS was called, but because everything is mostly emotional (it’s been physical, sadly, many.. many times) they never did anything else except interview my mom one time and she told me herself that she told them “Oh she’s just lying, she’s like that.”