being an INFJ male is so fuking hard

i think male INFJs shouldnt even exist , hear me out as a male INFJ i never could really be me and express my feelings becouse " i am a MAN " everytime i show even a little bit of emotion everybody were like WTF was that ?

i am just so tired of this shit like i cannot do certian things and hobbies bc i am a man i should be doing other important manly things that in the future it will help me be a MAN .

i never understood the meaning of being a MAN. and i am not sure i will , ever .