Please help me. I'm depressed, lonely, suicidal & unemployed

The whole world seems meaningless to me. Been living with mental illness for the past 17yrs and I'm tired. I didn't do well academically in college; graduated with a third class & this has made it difficult for me in getting a good job. All my childhood friends have all relocated from my environ and are thriving well in their respective fields. At 32yrs old I feel like a complete failure knowing I haven't been able to achieve anything. I don't have money, a girlfriend or an apartment of my own. My personality isn't helping me also; as I feel withdrawn and anti social not because I want to be but because I don’t just know how to be friendly and interact with people. I've tried to learn skills in the past but my understanding is low and I keep having thoughts going on in my mind that I can't control which makes me lose concentration. I once attempted suicide but didn’t find the courage to pull it through. I'm tired of sharing my struggles with people around me because they only end up broadcasting my pains to other people which makes me feel shameful. When I complained to my psychiatrists they just stuck me with drugs that end up making me feel worse. I'm dead inside and I don't know how long I can keep bearing the burden of living.