Your post-breakup glow-up isn’t when you look a lot better, take more care of yourself, or become a lot more successful after they left you.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

Those things are all good to have and worthy goals to pursue.

But the real glow-up happens when you no longer respond to your ex or the problems associated with the breakup in the same ways you used to in the past.

When:

their behaviors no longer trigger a several months or years long emotional reaction in you

you stop feeling the need to prove anything to them

you no longer fantasize about reconciliation because you finally see the relationship for what it actually was, not what you wanted it to be

their absence no longer feels like a loss but like freedom

That’s the real transformation.

It’s not about making them regret losing you—it’s about reaching a point where you don’t even care if they do regret it.