Warning to pre-op patients who think this surgery will fix your problems or marriage.

First of all, despite my title, I wanna say I wholeheartedly encourage anyone and everyone who needs it to get this surgery!!! It’s the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. I have zero regrets and am happier than ever. That being said, I wanna give a little warning to everyone who is pre-op. When my surgeon said there was an increased rate of divorce after surgery I made a huge false assumption. I thought “that’s probably because people lose weight and get attention from the opposite sex for the first time in a long time and end up cheating, so I don’t have to worry about that since I’m not a cheater under any circumstances.” Boy was I wrong about the cause of divorce. It has nothing to do with cheating lol. After reaching the 100lb weight loss mark since my day of surgery I came to a horrible painful realization. The reason divorce happens is because you spend years telling yourself “my spouse does this and treats me like that because of my weight. It’s my fault for not taking care of myself. Once I lose weight he will be in love with me again and treat me with kindness and respect again.” WRONG. WHATEVER PROBLEM YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW THAT YOU THINK THIS WILL FIX, IT WONT. While it’s comforting to blame all life’s problems on something as fixable as weight, it’s just not reality. 100lbs down and my husband is still the same person because it never had to do with my weight in the first place. Divorces happen because you realize oh shit I was never the problem to begin with. Now I’ve fixed my weight and I’m stuck married to someone who is genuinely awful to me.

The realization that your weight was never the cause of life’s problems can be painful because now you have to face them knowing how seemingly impossible they are to fix!

I’ll end on a positive note though: IM SO HAPPY I DID IT! I feel great! Regardless if I decide to stay in my marriage or not, I’m super happy to be myself again!!!!